CHRISTIAN LEPE & AMY BOULWARE - 24 HOUR PLUMBING PART I

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PIZZA NIGHT

Tale of the Thieving Warden & His Beastly Partner in Grime

Christian Lepe, Florence Colorado prison warden, aka “Lepe Le Pew” of South Central, and Amy Bouleware, Assistant Warden, aka “Huge Hog Beast,” weren’t just running the Florence, Colorado prison complex—they were running "The Corruption of Florence," their own little circus of power, money, and abuse.

Lepe’s nickname was a direct nod to the cartoon skunk. Not only did his name sound like the character’s, but he moved through the halls with the smug little strut of a man convinced his own stink didn’t linger. A heavy-set, fat Mexican, beady-eyed, with a thin mustache and a badge, he carried himself with the unearned confidence of someone sure nobody could smell what he was truly up to.

He was also a professional beak-wetter who had spent years allegedly siphoning money from every inmate program he could get his paws on. The Special Rewards Program was his personal ATM. Pizza and movie nights advertised for inmates? Nonexistent.

But the budget? Alive and well—allegedly going straight into Lepe’s pockets and into the twisted fantasies of his partner-in-grime: Assistant Warden Amy Bouleware, aka “Huge Hog Beast.”

For Lepe and Amy, “pizza night” was not about the inmates. It was about “24-Hour Plumbing.” That was what Lepe called it when he went over to Amy’s after pocketing the benevolent fund cash, and “cleaning pipes” like the most disgusting, corrupt plumber south of the Rockies.

After dinner, they would waddle off to Amy’s place—or what Lepe called “Le Château de Hog”—for a nightcap.

“Oui oui, chérie!” Lepe would slur, slapping Amy’s surgically restructured backside.

It had been months since their last social engagement. Amy had finally gone under the knife in a desperate attempt to cut the “huge” out of Huge Hog Beast. Years of failed diets had left her a permanent stuck-eyed pig—until now. But surgery could not fix everything. The facelift twisted her face into an unholy fusion of a pulled cat and a swollen pig. Even with less fat, she still looked like a creature best kept behind bars.

But she didn't care, as long as there was a little sugar in her bowl.

Yuk. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Together, they were the dynamic duo of Florence corruption—one allegedly stuffing his pockets, the other getting her pipes serviced—both smugly convinced their embezzlement, abuse of authority, and grotesque circus would never see the light of day.

But Maxx Wolf saw everything. And he wrote it down.

To be continued...

Editor’s Note: 

This article is personal narrative, satire, and editorial commentary based on the author’s recollection, direct experience, institutional conduct, and related records. It uses nicknames, exaggeration, parody, profanity, and cartoonish characterization for narrative effect.

The tone is intentionally absurd, but the underlying issues described are serious, including alleged abuse of authority, misuse of inmate programs, retaliation, intimidation, and institutional misconduct.

This article does not publish private personal information and does not encourage anyone to contact, threaten, harass, or target any person mentioned.